The break down of a 'relationship'

So then it happened. He was shocked, I was relieved.

It's not like I hadn't contemplated the idea for the last 2 months of the relationship...or is it 'relationship'? You'd see it coming wouldn't you? It wasn't out of the blue, there were warning signs. Short sharp answers to open ended questions, short hellos and shorter goodbyes, 'Ill check my diary' responses and disconnecting the phone line before He could utter those three dreaded meaningless words. Of course, you'd have to be a blithering idiot not to notice those bright red, glowing neon signs that slapped you around the face when you least expected it...and in case you're wondering, He was a Blithering Idiot.

It did start off pretty good. There was the whole romanticism, the compliments, (even poetry) then slowly but surely the whole 'thing' crumbled into tiny shards of glass, every conversation an effort, an annoyance. Do I really care about what you're up to at the weekend? Most definitely NOT. Blithering Idiot + His small talk + my uber stress= monosyllabic laconic responses on my part ! And then he gets pissed at me when I actually tell him that I honestly don't care about how a gig was (of a band I've never heard of!) or care about how drunk He was the night before. How can you pretend to be interested when you are clearly showing that you don't give a damn and have other things on your mind?

That's another thing, honesty. I quote: 'I want you to be totally honest with me' Ok yep, that's fine by me, but erm, I think you forgot to mention that you were seeing someone about 2 weeks after our 'break-up', I mean, Im sure she's a lovely girl, (if as fugly as) but thanks for letting me know. (Ok so it's technically nothing to do with me, but moving that quick must mean that He liked this Fugly during our 'relationship' or Blithering Idiot was getting close to Fugly in the last two months? ) Well, Blithering Idiot it's not like I heard about her from one of your mates a day after attending 'the-big-social-event-of-the-year', hosted by my friends on my expense after discussing the break-up, with us being 'okay...nothing to talk about' . Oh no, of course not. And the issue was that I believed He was an honest person, how wrong was I! The Blithering Idiot thought that I'd favor cowardice over honesty. Idiot.

Now, the funny thing is that I laughed when I heard that He was seeing someone else. Now you're probably thinking that I laughed in a I'm-laughing-because-if-I-don't-I-will-cry way, but it was, in fact more like I'm-laughing-because-I-should-be-hurt-right-now-but-I-honestly-don't-care sort of way (to be more accurate) Splendid :]] I should have sat and cried, you know that whole tissue box and chocolates type scenario, but in fact, I informed my friends that the Blithering Idiot was seeing someone new and I was bloody happy about it!

Funny that, I experience what Aristotle would call peripetia except this reversal of fortune was in my favor when it probably shouldn't have been. Don't worry, my only hubris is that I'm fine with it all, which means that I probably never cared enough. That would explain why I put relationship in inverted commas without even thinking about it. Where is Freud when I need a consult? No dreams of Him, snakes or such like, means I'm in the clear emotionally (so far) ergo I never really cared enough to get hurt towards the end. Like He said (in a less intelligible expression) 'We are two very different people brought up in two very different worlds where neither of us can imagine what it's like to live in each others worlds, making us less compatible than we had thought' or as I had simply put, we fell in love with the idea of each other. Cliché but very true.

Young love never pulls through, and so we move on, more steadfast, more wise and knowledgeable into the next pool of fish on our tiresome quest for love.